On being ‘Calm’ ……Part Three……

A man of calm is like a shady tree.
People who need shelter come to it.
~ Toba Beta

Now for the third and final part of On being ‘Calm’. Here are my last few suggestions to help you get through those stressful days:

  • When you have two quiet minutes, whether you are sitting at your office desk, waiting for the kids to come out of school or doing the garden, close your eyes. Image you are a large powerful bird, and you are flying high above the clouds. Swoop and dive, feel the freedom, glide on a current of air. No problems or worry dwell in this special place only peace and calm. Take some slow deep breaths and enjoy this moment. When you are ready open your eyes and carry on with your day. Remember you can return here as often as you like.
  • A great way to relax is to place a warm wet towel over your face. Lie down and close you eyes for a few minutes and just relax. Enjoy!
  • One thing that disrupts our calm is jumping to conclusions. We do it all the time without examining the facts and being realistic. It’s a programmed response to assume the worst. Don’t be a self saboteur it is a waste of time and makes us tense. Give others the benefit of the doubt if they haven’t done what you expected them to or if someone says something you find sends you off on a tangent. Be compassionate to yourself and others.
  • Make sure you drink plenty if you are experiencing hot weather to avoid dehydration. Dehydration affects thinking, causes headaches and nausea, constipation and irritability. The exact opposite of what we want to achieve.
    Avoid fizzy drinks loaded with sugar, instead drink plenty of water. I am not a big fan of water and usually drink squash or flavoured water, which is fine also.
    Avoid too much caffeine and alcohol as it acts as a diuretic, which leads to excessive urination also causing dehydration.
  • Take a mind holiday ~ Take a few minutes in a quiet place to recapture a time when you have felt really calm and happy. Close your eyes and relive the time you sat on the beach and felt at peace, maybe you were watching the sun go down over the ocean or taking a walk in a cool tranquil wood. There is no right or wrong place to relive your happy experience in. Some people find it difficult to remember times like these. Why not make a note of it and visit later?
  • Got five minutes to spare? Then try some simple hand reflexology. Grip your left index finger with your right hand and squeeze. Hold it until you can feel your heart beat then release. Repeat with middle finger until you feel your pulse. Repeat with ring finger and little finger. Repeat on the right hand. Very relaxing after effects.
  • Listening to Calm relaxing music before you go to sleep can produce deep restful sleep.
  • Got a stress headache? Why not try hot water relief. Fill the sink with water as hot as you can stand to put your hands in. Immerse your hands in the water and leave them there for several minutes as the water is cooling. The theory behind this is that the blood rushes to your hands and away from your head relieving the headache. Hopefully calm is restored.
  • Stop worrying so much. Thought stopping using the traffic light method is very helpful but needs to be done regularly to be effective. Each time a worrying though come to mind imagine a set of traffic lights on green and think your worrying thought and turn to red. Process your though and stop thinking it and change the traffic lights back to green.

Like I said in Part One, it is very much in your hands how you feel in your day. You can’t change what happens but you can change how you choose to react to it.

I hope you have benefited from this blog on being Calm and it helps you on your journey to a much more peaceful life.



On being ‘Calm’…….Part Two…

In my blog ‘On being Calm Part One’, I gave you some suggestions for inviting more calmness into your life; now here’s a few more.

  • Find the extraordinary in the ordinary. Take five minutes to just sit and notice the miracles around, A baby’s smile, hear the sound of the wind rustling through the trees, the detail in a photo or painting we haven’t seen before, the beautiful smell of flowers or bread cooking. Just for a moment stop time and really contest to your senses. Press the pause button and just live in the beauty of that moment.
  • Let your inner child play today. Bounce a ball, pretend to be a plane, blow bubbles, finger paint, play in the sand ………. think about what you enjoyed doing as a small child. It’s great fun and it connects us back to a time when life was less prescribed.
  • Do you have overly high expectations of yourself?
    Are you setting yourself up for frustration and feelings of failure?
    Stop measuring yourself by other people. We are all different and so is our life experience. Let go!
    Chose only the expectations that are achievable and important. Strike a balance between what you want and what you need. Simplify your life and reduce the stress.
  • Create a small garden of your favourite plants in a special area. Choose a few pots that you find particularly pleasing. Tending and nurturing a small garden is a great way to control stress and provide creative focus. It only requires a small amount of your time each day and produces something pleasant to look at as well as something beautiful you have achieved. This is also good for grounding your energy.
  • Bend and breath ~ stand with your feet shoulder width apart and stretch your arms over your head as high as you can comfortably. As you raise your arms inhale slowly. Bend forward at the waist and swing your arms down and back behind you. Exhale as you bend forward. Repeat this several times to restore balance.
  • Vacuuming! Yes I really did say that Vacuuming is a repetitive and vigorous movement that can lull you into a meditate state, whilst the strenuous activity releases stress from the body. Further reward is a nice clean living space, win win. This also works with lawn mowing.


Why is it important to be Calm?

Mental calm leads to clarity of mind helps us towards that even keel where we can all benefit from the abundance that this life offers us. Calm works wonders. If we stop to reflect, we all know that we are at our best when we are calm – and at our worst when react hot-headedly. We all know that calm leads to greater effectiveness.

Recall a situation in which you did not manage to maintain calm. How many of us cringe when we think back over it. How much better would that situation have turned out is we hadn’t have acted and spoken before we thought about the situation from a peaceful perspective. Just a little food for thought …….

 I have so much chaos in my life, it’s become normal. You become used to it. You have to just relax, calm down, take a deep breath and try to see how you can make things work rather than complain about how they’re wrong.

~ Tom Welling ~


 On being ‘Calm’…….Part Three to follow



On being ‘Calm’…….Part One

So many times this week I have heard people complain about feeling agitated and anxious. My first question is have you not read my blog on being Grounded and my second question is what are you doing about it? We all suffer like this from time to time however we can most certainly reduce those feelings and take control.

Sometimes I find people are just plain lazy and refuse to take responsibility for themselves and make the changes needed to live a more tranquil and peaceful life.

Would you like to invite more calm into your life?
Sounds marvellous but have no idea where to start or make changes?
I am going to provide you with ideas and activities to help bring more calm into your life improving your ability to manage and reduce stress.
Not all suggestions will be for everyone however I hope you can take something that will make a positive impact. 

How you feeling today? Frustrated, agitated, stressed?
Make sure you surround yourself with the colour BLUE. Your central nervous system produces chemicals that reduce stress, blood pressure and lowers respiratory rate in response to seeing blue items. Clothing, rooms and everyday blue objects create a claiming effect. How about using blue paper to write on, change your screensaver to something blue, or wear blue clothing to provide a more tranquil day?

  • Pillow therapy! One of my favourites. As a race the English are naturally reserved and we often repress negative feelings especially anger and annoyance which are quite natural emotions and need to be processed not held inside. Get the biggest pillow you can find and keep on punching it, really let rip. When you are finished if you still don’t feel any calmer, scream into the pillow. Shout and say all the things you would never normal say to people’s faces. Remember to do this in a safe place where no one can see or hear you!
  • Lavender has marvellous calming qualities, the smell increase our alpha brain waves which are associated with relaxation. A pot of fresh lavender can last for ages either inside or outside the house. If that’s not an option, good quality scented candles, incense, oils, potpourri or infusions can all be placed in a room. Other options might be natural lavender soaps, shower and bath products.
    Air fresheners and man made lavender aromas are not so effective.
  • Stop eating, cakes chocolate and biscuits it makes things worse. Eat FRUIT and drink plenty of WATER.
  • Neck rotations ~ we carry tension in our head and shoulders which needs to be released to avoid build up. Sit upright, close your eyes and take three deep slow breaths. Let your head drop forward and slowly rotate your head clockwise five times. Do not force it the floppier the better. Repeat anti clockwise. Take three more deep breaths open your eyes and return to your day in a more calm state.
  • Stop watching the NEWS! Most people keep up with it, wanting to be perceived as knowledgeable and intelligent, and feel a sense of urgency about following current events because they think that this is what responsible adults do. It doesn’t make you feel better to watch, it makes you feel worse. It doesn’t help you relax; it makes you feel more anxious. If you want a simple way to reduce stress in your life and create calm, stop trying to be over informed. Better to spend that time watching sitcoms that make you laugh or doing something far more personal that adds to your quality of life. Exercise, meditate, cook, spend time with your partner or kids. Catch up with a brief bulletin or quickly scan a newspaper if you have to but let yourself off the informational hook, and devote that time to enjoying life!

I hope that has given you at least one idea today of a change or activity you could used in order to help you live a more tranquil and stress reduced life.

I will post, ‘On being Calm….. Part Two’ , tomorrow so be ready to make those changes and empower yourself.









On an attitude of gratitude ……..

Ask yourself, is too much of your time spent complaining and not nearly enough time spent being grateful? Are we all guilty of this? I for one am, no matter how much I don’t perceive myself to be.

A lack of gratitude will result in never being truly happy and when things don’t go well being angry and bitter.

An attitude of gratitude attracts new possibilities and potentials. You are acknowledging what you have received that day, even if you have not received what you have expected or something unpleasant, you must find the potential for growth in it. A disagreeable occurrence may have a learning experience or message you need to understand so it is important to give gratitude for that situation.  It can actually shift how you feel about the circumstances to a more positive perspective. When you use this way of thinking you’ll find that the act of gratitude releases chemicals, called neurotransmitters in the body that calm and relax you.  We should become constantly aware of the blessings in your life and invite in more happiness. 


So is it simple? Well no not for the majority of us as we have been programmed to think differently. In England we can be a nation of whiners and moaners. We can always find reasons to complain and criticise, but it takes more effort to find reasons to be thankful. All is not lost though as there are a few simple things we can do to reprogram ourselves and enjoy a more calm and peaceful outlook.

I start each day and end each evening making a mental list of things I am grateful for. This doesn’t have to be an onerous task or a very long list. If I can’t sleep instead of counting sheep I list things I am grateful for. This also is something you can do if you are stuck in traffic, waiting to for an appointment or queuing in the bank. That’s the easy version!

However if you need something more committed and structured you may like to try this.

This is an exercise I have borrowed from, Help-Yourself-Stress-Relief.com.

The Attitude of Gratitude exercise:

You will need:

  • Paper or a journal/notebook for a gratitude journal
  • Or print out a gratitude journal form here
  • Pen, pencil or a special writing utensil

So the following daily before you go to bed for 4 weeks. It takes about 5 minutes, though you can spend as much time as you like on it.

  1. Assess yourself on a 0 to 10 scale. 0 means you are very well and at peace. 10 means you are not well at all. Example: Experiencing an anxiety attack.
  2. Assess each of the 4 aspects of your holistic health on this 0 to 10 scale. Your physical body, Your mental state – your mind, Your emotional state – how you feel, Your spiritual connection.
  3. Reflect on the day. What are you thankful for? Write them down. Even if you had a rough day, find at least three things you are thankful for. Example: your life, your breath and the air are three things to be thankful for.
  4. Reflect on feeling thankful for what you have. Feel the feeling of thankfulness and gratitude.
  5. Assess yourself on the above scale again.
  6. What did you notice in your pre-assessment and post-assessment?
  7. Go to bed.
  8. Repeat steps 1 – 5 for 4 weeks.
  9. What do you notice about yourself, your thoughts, your mind, heart, your emotions and spirit?

It can be a life changing experience to consistently express gratitude.  Practice it for a month or two and commit to it, consciously focusing on what you have to be grateful for and see what happens.   

“You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life. And you will have set in motion an ancient spiritual law: the more you have and are grateful for, the more will be given you.” — Sarah Ban Breathnach

As a last thought please remember gratitude also needs to be shared with the people in our lives. It is not enough to send out into the Universe we are grateful for their presence in our lives without telling them. We need to make sure they know that we appreciate them and to share that on a regular basis and in a variety of ways.



On Meditation for thrifty beginners……..

In this bustling world many people are turning to ‘Old Age’ traditions in order to cope and improve their lives, one of those being meditation. As one who has been there I know how frustrating it can be to have no clue where to start and who to ask. It is possible for you to spend a tremendous amount of money and never actually achieve anything. You will have heard people talk of the wonderful health benefits including increased concentration, decreased anxiety, and a general feeling of peace and happiness. But how is that achieved? As always I would suggest keep things simple and it doesn’t have to cost anything. You don’t have to seek out a guru, sit in a certain position or convert to another religion.

This is an exercise I leant while enjoying a meditation class many years ago during a spa relaxation day.

Sit comfortably and close your eyes, take a few moments to just relax. If you feel it would help you can put on some relaxing music but it is not necessary especially if you have a quiet environment.

Now bring the attention to your breath. Simply notice the breath as it moves in and out as the body inhales and exhales, in and out automatically and effortlessly. Don’t try to force it in any way. Notice all the details of the experience of breathing; the feeling of the air moving in and out of the nose, the way the body moves as it breathes, etc.

Now as you breath in and out say the phrase in your mind ‘only now’ while still concentrating on your breathing. If your mind wanders bring your attention back to your breathing and mantra. Your mind will wander when you are new to meditation and don’t expect to manage more than a few minutes so when you are ready take one last long breath out and open your eyes.

I found this very simple and very achievable. There are a number of simple breathing meditation you can find on the internet.


Tips for those new to meditation:

  • Meditation is the art of focusing of your attention and quietening the mind so set aside specific time every day to be quiet and still.
  • Stretch before you to sit comfortably. Start by taking three deep cleaning breaths. Breathing deep slows the heart rate, relaxes the muscles and focuses the mind.
  • Be purposeful, understand that meditation is an active process and set goals. For example relaxation or to reduce anxiety.
  • ·        If at first you don’t succeed don’t give up. Many do but the benefits are wonderful.
  • A great practice for beginning meditators is to take notice of the body when a meditative is achieved, how is it different to normal.
  • Pick a quiet place specific place in your home to meditate where it is warm and comfortable.
  • Make sure you will not be disturbed.
  • Use a candle. Meditating with eyes closed can be challenging for a beginner. I have mentioned this in a previous blog.
  • No matter what happens during your meditation practice, do not stress about it.
  • Show gratitude at the end.

Although a great number of people try meditation at some point in their lives, only a small percentage actually sticks with it long-term. This is unfortunate, and one reason is that many beginners do not begin with a mindset needed to make the practice sustainable. Which is back to keeping it simple and achievable.

If you are having difficulty with meditating successfully or you have a specific purpose for your meditation and need to take it to the next level , you may want to try listening to guided meditation CD’s. There is a huge selection available and you have several thrifty options. Look around at what is on www.youtube.com , you may want to check out the feedback on these first as there are some that are not as good as what you expect and don’t do what they say on the packet. There are a number of reputable meditation sites that will allow you to download so examples of their CD’s before you buy. Lastly you local library may stock a range or can get them from you from you City library.  

If you do want to buy guided meditation CDs look for them second on Ebay and Amazon for a fraction of the original price. If people of selling them often they have only been used once or twice.

My personal favorite stockist of guided meditations are :


Do be aware that some meditations are used on more than one CD.

I hope that meditation becomes as permanent feature in your life as it brings many benefits.  

On the Full Moon…….and a little bit of magic……

It is without a doubt that if you are spiritual inclined the full moon is an important time. It is a time when I throw all my doors and windows open and let the subtle moon energy work its magic cleansing my home.

Every religion has it’s on beliefs set around the phases of the moon and certain rituals and celebrations they like to engage in. As I am not a follower of organised religion I have my own ideas on the subject.

Over the decades there have been many scientific reports on human behaviour around the time of the full moon. The findings suggest heightened mind activity and people complaining of higher levels of physical and mental distress and also the exact opposite.

The Spiritual Science Research Foundation examined the effect of the moon on human behaviour using a variety of spiritual research methodologies. In general the research ascertains there was a change in human behaviour at this time. Including:

  • Feelings, emotions and desires heighten, both in the conscious mind and the sub-conscious mind. 
  • People are more likely to fall in love.
  • Creativity flows more freely.
  •  People experience a negative period because of the effect of    gravitational pull of the moon.
  • People feel an energetic buzz.     

I have already mentioned I like to cleanse my house during a full moon but I haven’t really explained why. Every month, we have a chance to experience a fresh start. The Moon’s waxing and waning is like the shortest hand on the cosmic clock. The intentions and universal attractions we set with the moon can get very specific at this time. This is a way to stay attuned to cosmic currents, and go with the flow. It’s a constant in the cycle of the moons waxing and waning. For me it is a great time to set new goals and intentions, and send out new affirmation. This also is a time that opens the door for meaningful people to step into your life or even back into your life.

Harnessing the energy to attract what you want in your life:

Since the full moon pours down a tremendous amount of energy when it is at its fullest, it is important to be in a calm state of mind to receive a positive effect. Remember that whatever is going on in your body, mind and spirit will be amplified. If you are angry, you will feel angrier or if you are happy, you will feel happier. During the full moon, the ocean swells and emergency rooms have more patients. The energy is very powerful so it’s important to direct it with positive intention. Knowing this is a huge opportunity for your emotional and spiritual growth.

With this in mind use these tools to tap into the moons energy:

  • Think positive thoughts, send out gratitude.
  • Refrain from negative emotions.
  • Send blessings to people and situations in need. 
  • Meditate; bring peace into your life and environment.

The energy will naturally gravitate to you as a receptor. From this point you can then picture your hopes and dreams manifesting. You can do this verbally, write it down or picture it in your mind. You have sent out positivity into the universe and the universe will reward you in the same way.

Harnessing the energy to rid what you don’t want in your life:

You may feel you want to purge yourself of some negativity at this time to. As I purge my house by cleansing it you may want to do a simple ritual for emotions or attitudes. Use your own beliefs as a starting point:

 Under the light of the moon, invite your guides, angels or masters to be at your side throughout the ceremony .Light one or more candles, look to the skies and breathe in the night air. Write on separate slips of paper the things you want to release and one by one, read out loud the words you have written on each slip of paper. Set your intention to release the item/addiction/attitude from your life and burn each one. If you are happier using a bbq or metal pan this is fine. As each one burns say ‘Be gone!”. Many people have reported this to be a very empowering ceremony. Remember to thank who ever you invited to join you and give gratitude for the release.

However you chose to use the full moon energy remember it is there for  you and what a waste to not take advantage.

Happy Moon Magic!

Magic of Full Moon



On Smudging…….

spirital hotchpot

You know the feeling you have when you get out of a warm bath into clean night clothes and jump in a freshly washed bed? That is the way I feel when I have cleansed or smudged my house. I don’t mean physically cleaning your house from top to bottom, although that can have a pleasantly rewarding feeling too, I am on about purifying the energy and the vibrations that are in your home. When these become ‘dirty’ they can make for some very unpleasant experiences in your environment and most likely you won’t even realise.

You can smudge your home or work space as part of a general spiritual cleaning, and you can cleanse other objects of any negative or lingering energy with a smudging ritual. Sometimes I smudge when the moon is full and I open all the doors and windows at the same time to release old…

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